i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
