also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
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well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
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making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
the raccoons are back...
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