I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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