No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize