idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
