i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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