Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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