Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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