So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
