My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
