dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
