next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
