Dual....:-)
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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