I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
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