So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
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was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
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You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize