TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
