you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
