Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
