so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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