I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
