i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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