I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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