who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
you win again, gameday.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
