Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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