The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
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