She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
