He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
