therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
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