Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
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I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
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I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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