her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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