Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
