Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
You took a bar mat shot.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
