sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
