My girlfriend figured out who you are.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
try to milk me bitch
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize