i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
