maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
