Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
