I puked a lego.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
