I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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