Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
