um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
as a side note pls kill me
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
