he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.