mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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