either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Randomize
