Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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