But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
