But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
You have to summon your inner elephant
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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