brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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