Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
