I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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