I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
