Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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