Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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