just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Boobs are out for the taking
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize