I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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