I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
