I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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