Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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