A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
