I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Michael Bay diarrhea
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
