I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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